Yesterday my mother forced me to take a walk with her. She said to me “this house is crushing you”. I was sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, drinking lemon tea and reading Words in Deep Blue by Cathy Crowley. Most days I can hardly get out of bed, let alone leave the house. But today I tried for my mother’s sake who keeps trying to understand the chemical imbalance that took her daughter away.
I was hoping this would be a quick walk up and down the road but unfortunately, she chose the busiest road. I get anxious when I’m outside especially when it’s too busy, too noisy.
My heart skips a beat if a car’s engine is too loud.
She sent me into the grocer’s alone and by the time we’d done a full circle and returned home, I was sweating and my head was throbbing.
I don’t get out of the house much. I avoid it if I can and that includes starving until someone else decides they’d like to buy bread. I spend most of my days reading, and anguishing over my mental health so I decided to start a blog about those two things that my life seems to revolve around. Mental health and books.
So, welcome to sakhilewhispers.